“Wow, awesome!” I exclaimed internally after reading Elliot Page’s amazing Instagram post. (Read it here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIQ1QFBhNFg/) Then I read a report that Netflix changed their credits to reflect and honor his coming out. Then I thought to myself, “Oh, shit - I’ve got to change my book.” (For those of you who have a copy, turn to page 43.) Let me ‘splain…no there is too much, let me sum up: I wrote a book, published it in February of 2020 with Dancing Moon Press, and now Elliot Page has come out as Elliot Page and his name is WRONG in my book. Twice. FUCK.
I have to fix this, I thought. I started researching the best way I knew how, with Google. I didn’t want to approach any trans friends or friends-of-friends or acquaintances etc. about it because…well, to be perfectly honest…I wanted desperately to not be a Karen about this. And I figure the easiest way to be a Karen is to speak or act before doing any fucking research. As a straight, cisgender, awkward-but-learning woman person I wanted to just do the right thing.
And then this https://medium.com/@MxComan/trans-citation-practices-a-quick-and-dirty-guideline-9f4168117115
And when I read the sentence explaining how using slave names aloud in reference to freed African-Americans in a post-War era could be equated to deadnaming - [STOPPED WHAT I WAS DOING AND TEXTED MY PUBLISHER IMMEDIATELY]…Suffice to say, I felt the profound urgency to do something about this quickly; and, not because I didn’t want to appear as a Karen or simply protect my reputation (which of course I also wished) but because I admire and respect the actor so much that I would absolutely hate to be the source of those awful feelings within him - or anyone. I mean Jesus, slave names. That changed my brain, I’m embarrassed to say. It sparked a self-education process in me that I hope many of you reading will embark on if you haven’t already. Seriously, I encourage everyone to learn more about deadnaming and trans rights and history. The Human Rights Campaign at hrc.org was a great place for me to start.
So, there’s not a how-to-fix-alread-published-deadnames manual out there. I was astonished that there wasn’t much available as far as guides for authors and publishers on how to makes these kinds of corrections. I guess I mean to exclaim, WHY IS NO ONE MAKING THESE CORRECTIONS!?! Anyway, so I thought I’d document my process for posterity and in case there are other writers out there curious about how another person went about changing an already published piece to honor and respect transgender people by not deadnaming. (Don’t know what deadnaming is? Please start here: https://www.hrc.org/resources/be-an-ally-support-trans-equality )
I read the above articles (also see below, More References) watched some videos, watched DISCLOSURE on Netflix (highly highly recommend), reflected back on all the transgender patients I had ever cared for in the hospital setting, texted a few close confidants, and then decided to reach out to some trans writers. Who better to ask about the topic of changing published works to honor trans individuals than trans writers? I boldly sent some blind Facebook messages to the admins of some trans writing groups with the most-polite, most-honest, most-non-Karen-y intro I could come up with. Two of three replies were less than cordial, and I do not mention that in any way to reflect poorly upon them. I expected this. I realize that not all trans people want to be interrogated constantly about their transitions and just want to live their lives. They also probably do not want to be approached on social media by a cisgender person when they’ve likely been accosted or abused or disrespected by cisgender people their entire lives. I knew I needed to tread lightly, write honestly, and have zero expectations. One person replied to me in the most open and affirming way imaginable. Her name is *Delilah. She is a sex-educator, a writer, a mom, a transactivist; she leads trans family support groups and heads a non-profit supporting trans writers. She graciously accepted my request for help in this effort to correct my book and not be a Karen. We even talked on the phone and talked about what being a Karen really is (She says there’s two types of Karens well-meaning and not-well-meaning) among many other things. I was so grateful for her willingness to help and educate, and accept my insufficient life experience with my enthusiasm for getting this right. Delilah helped me work through my intentions with making the change, how I should go about doing it, my expectations, the idea of making bookmarks and even helped with the editing of the bookmark’s text. O note she, and another who did reply to my initial message, encouraged me to reach out to Elliot himself. After creating cute-AF bookmarks with the Elliot Page correction (btw, FREE to print out and use, see my homepage) I wrote, edited, and sent the following message to Elliot…
***
Hi Elliot,
First of all, I am an enormous fan. I also realize how insignificant I am in comparison to you and all the other enormous fans that surely message you, so I'll cut to the chase. I admire you so much that I wrote you into a book. Okay, so having said that, once upon a time I wrote and published a silly memoir about my dating life, and in said book I cast every character with Hollywood actors for laughs. The jist: I cast you as myself. Not as a joke, but because I think you are a stellar human being and actor. I won't bore you with the details of my very small book, which is absolutely miniscule in comparison to your own work. I admire and have always admired your wit, honesty, and art, so I feel compelled to offer an apology and notify you that I have made a correction in my publication regarding your name.
After you came out on social media I never gave that "casting choice" in my book a second thought. As an awkward-but-learning straight cisgender woman (and trying my hardest to not be a Karen) my initial thought was, "Wow, how awesome!" My second thought was, "Oh shit! I need to change my book." Well I'm definitely not as fast as Netflix, but I endeavored to make this change as quickly and correctly and respectfully as possible. With the help of my small-press publisher and a wonderful trans writer who took pity on me, I made the changes to the ebook and the printed book files for future ordered copies. I notified readers of the change and made free bookmarks available with this correction, and did my best to highlight the importance of trans rights and history in the process. However, I must admit despite my best efforts there are a few copies that exist with the incorrect name printed. For this I must profusely apologize to you.
I also wanted to say that through this process I have learned so much about and from the trans community where formerly existed a dearth of knowledge. It has changed not only my writing and personal interactions, but my professional conduct as a hospital nurse as well. I now am seeking more knowledge about the experience of trans people in our healthcare system and so far I am appalled, and therefore motivated to be less complacent and make positive changes, however small they might be.
Anyhow, I'm sure you have nine million other fan messages to read or ignore. I don't expect a response, but I wanted you to hopefully accept my apology and know that I am working to be better.
With gratitude and continued admiration,
Marie MacMillan
***
I sent the message. I posted the photos of the bookmarks. I added the hashtags. I sent thank you notes to all who helped. I am offering discounts on hand-corrected copies of first editions of THE REBOOT: 50 DATES WITH MYSELF this Valentine’s Day (email me!) and I’m donating portions of every book bought in February to Trans Lifeline (https://www.translifeline.org)
It felt good to say that I think I’ve done my best in this errata process. It feels bad to say it took me this long to realize that I am behind in my beliefs, ways, and actions in regards to the trans community - and really, behind in my personal awaking to social justice in the 21st century (see future blog posts). But, like Delilah reassured me…
…“You know, we’re all so wound up on these topics. Do the best you can. If anyone critiques your process, accept the feedback gracefully. But don’t beat yourself up. We’re all living through a major social evolution. Ten years ago most people didn’t even know why pronouns were a thing. Five years ago, news media giddily published deadnames. We’re all growing and learning.”
I hope you grow with me.
~Marie
More References
https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/tony-mcdade-and-trans-people-deserve-not-to-be-deadnamed
http://pinkmantaray.com/ncaa - Absolutely excellent writing about trans athletes and the rules that governing sports bodies employ currently, like the NCAA and the IOC. Also follow @pinkmantaray on Instagram
https://medium.com/@MxComan/trans-citation-practices-a-quick-and-dirty-guideline-9f4168117115
https://www.hrc.org/campaigns/see-each-other-save-trans-lives
“You know, we’re all so wound up on these topics. Do the best you can. If anyone critiques your process, accept the feedback gracefully. But don’t beat yourself up. We’re all living through a major social evolution. Ten years ago most people didn’t even know why pronouns were a thing. Five years ago, news media giddily published deadnames. We’re all growing and learning.”
